Summary of Keypoints
- There is no single “right” holiday schedule: The article emphasizes that parents are not limited to standard templates and can create a holiday schedule tailored to their family’s needs, priorities, and traditions.
- Communicating priorities to your attorney is key: Parents should tell their attorney which holidays matter most—or if holidays are less important—so the schedule supports a meaningful parent-child relationship rather than rigid tradition.
- Odd/even year schedules provide structure and balance: Alternating holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas by year allows both parents to share important days over time while maintaining predictability.
- Splitting or duplicating holidays can reduce stress: Options include dividing the holiday into two parts, celebrating on different days, or adjusting celebrations to fit custody schedules without diminishing their value.
- Flexibility and cooperation benefit children most: In some cases, co-parents may celebrate together or participate jointly in activities, reinforcing that creative and cooperative arrangements can enhance children’s holiday experiences.
The right holiday schedule is the one that works best for you, your child, and your former spouse. Before we get into some examples of holiday schedules, it is essential to understand that you don’t need to be cornered into choosing one or the other.
If you are going through a divorce and are trying to reach an agreement with your former spouse, trust and use your attorney. Instead of trying to bend your life around making a traditional holiday schedule fit your needs, create one that suits you.
Start by telling your attorney which holidays are important to you. There’s nothing wrong with telling an attorney why a holiday matters because of traditions you have. Taking that one step further may also be ok if holidays are not your biggest priority. The goal is to ensure you have a valuable and meaningful relationship with your children. How you choose to accomplish this is part of the tremendous responsibility of being a parent.
The Odd/Even
This is one example that allows structure and flexibility simultaneously. You and your ex can list out every holiday, birthday, school vacation, etc. Make two columns. One is odd years, and the other is even years. Then split the time up evenly. If Thanksgiving and Christmas are important to both of you, split them. Each year, one person gets Thanksgiving, the other has Christmas, and the following year you switch.
Some people choose not to ask for holidays such as Halloween because of its potential to disrupt a custody schedule. Remember, the goal is to be with your children. Make it fit the best way you can.
Two Times & Halves
You and your former spouse may live close enough where splitting the actual holiday works. In other words, your spouse spends Christmas morning with the kids, and you get the afternoon. You can even alternate the times, so it switches the following year.
Another option is to simply do the holiday twice and make it fit into your custody schedule. That may mean celebrating Christmas a week early. Your kids will remember the special time they get with you more than anything else.
And lastly, some people develop well as co-parents. Nothing is saying you can’t go Trick or Treating as a whole group or having Thanksgiving as one, large, extended family.
Easterling Law
At Easterling Law, we have seen how divorce can turn into an unhealthy experience for parents and children—and that is what we want to prevent. Because you will be a parent forever, we want to give you the best opportunity to succeed. Let’s connect to see how we can help you.
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