Moving On: How to Adjust to Your “New Life” After Divorce

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The period after divorce can be confusing. You have just separated from a person who has been a major part of your life, and are now looking for a fresh start. There are several changes that you will have to deal with. If you were dependent on him or her for your living, you may have to get a new job to take care of yourself. You also need to cope with a new parenting arrangement if there were any kids from your marriage. All of this is expected of you within a very short time, so it is understandable how everything can be so overwhelming. Here are a few tips to help you adjust to your new life after divorce. 

1. Learn to let go 

In order to start over again, you need to let go of all the bitterness and resentment you may have towards your ex-spouse. Holding on to these feelings will only keep you from moving on with your life. While it is natural to think about the “what ifs” of your situation, you need to remember that you cannot change the past. There is a reason why it happened, so you are better off using your energy to prepare for the next phase of your life.

2. Learn to live in the present moment

There may be children to take care of, work to do, and relationships to build and maintain. Take some time to reflect on your life and think about what really makes you happy. Go to a therapist, learn about meditation, practice self-care, but whatever happens, do not stop living. If you find yourself thinking about the past, use all your senses to get back to the present moment. There is beauty all around you; all you need to do is be present to notice it. 

3. Create a plan for your life 

Now that your marriage is over, what do you want to do with your life? If you had been married for a long time, chances are you and your ex-spouse had made long-term goals for the future. This is the time to re-evaluate your life and make new plans. Do you want to take a new hobby, get a new job, start a business, or travel to a different country? What is your financial situation and how do you plan to invest or save for the future? 

4. Do not rush into a new relationship

Soon after your divorce, you will start meeting new and interesting people along the way. Due to the fear of being alone, some people end up rushing into new relationships without considering whether it is the right choice for them. Allow yourself to mourn the divorce first, and immerse yourself in to all the emotions of grief. Creating a new plan for your life will serve as a good distraction from the overwhelming divorce stress. Once you have worked through your feelings, you will be much more equipped to get into a new relationship. 

Divorce is a hectic and emotionally draining process. It is advisable to get an experienced attorney to help you avoid making costly mistakes along the way. For any legal assistance, talk to us today at 980-272-1365.