Children crave consistency, and they want to know that they are safe. No one is in a better position to provide this than the child’s parents, even after a divorce. Because it is fall and Halloween is approaching, we thought it would be a good idea to address some attributes that form the foundation of a successful co-parenting relationship in the wake of a divorce.
As a divorced parent, you’ve likely been advised to put your differences aside for the child’s sake. Though that is a simple concept, it can be a monumental task for couples who have experienced tumultuous and contested divorce proceedings. During that time, parents (and their attorneys) work out an agreement regarding legal and physical custody. Holidays will also get addressed. On Halloween, for instance, parents may opt to swap years or split the day in half if the parents live closer to one another. There are several ways to divide up holiday time, and you and your attorney will work together to find the right one for your family.
The Best Outcome
Imagine a set of parents who have joint legal custody of their children. They have an equal say in decisions regarding medical treatment, education, and religious preferences. Although the mother has primary physical custody, the father spends every other weekend with them. Both are responsible and fit parents who were in a marriage that wasn’t working. When they were going through the divorce process, they split up holidays because—at the time—it was unfathomable to imagine spending the holidays together.
Other families choose not to list out smaller holidays so that they can have a more consistent schedule. These families celebrate the holiday during the time they have their children with them. This can be great, but it still may feel like you or even your children are missing out on some fun and meaningful tradition.
What has happened since? Co-parenting, like marriage, is a relationship that takes work. The terms you and your former spouse are on now may no longer resemble what they were during the divorce. During the divorce process, the idea of spending a holiday with your former spouse (and potentially their significant other) is beyond the realm of possibility for most people. However, it is essential never to forget that a scenario like that isn’t unattainable. Some families even agree to modify their holiday schedule so that their children can have the best of BOTH worlds and miss out on little to no family traditions.
Keep an Eye on the Future
In this scenario, nothing says one parent could reach out and ask the other parent to join them for Trick or Treating. Even though you divided the holidays up during a separation agreement doesn’t mean you and your former spouse can’t deviate from it if you both want to. Think of how nice it would be for the child to see their parents together (if this is healthy), get along, and be responsible adults.
If you’re not at that point in your co-parenting journey, that’s ok. It doesn’t mean you won’t or can’t get there. For the sake of your child, treat your former spouse with kindness and respect because that is the foundation of any successful co-parenting relationship.
Speak With a Family Law Attorney Today
At Easterling Law, PLLC, we never forget that you continue to be a mother or father after the divorce process. We respect each individual involved in the case because everyone deserves passion and forgiveness. Co-parenting is essential, and we don’t want to fuel and promote a contentious divorce that damages your ability to be one. Contact Easterling Law, PLLC, today to schedule a consultation.
We look forward to learning more about how we can help resolve your family law issue.
